I have a friend who I mostly see with mutual friends. She has a habit of looking me up and down to see what I’m wearing before she says hello. I find her behavior rude and shallow. Should I say something?
—Isabel
ANSWER: Your pal’s obsessive study of your duds signals insecurity, not rudeness. If she felt confident in her appearance, she wouldn’t be so vigilant about yours, right? Still, I understand the sting of feeling judged. The next time she gives you the once-over, say: “I noticed you staring at my jeans. I wasn’t sure about them either. What do you think?” It lets her know you know, which may, in turn, make her more subtle.
—Adapted from ‘Social Q’s’ in The New York Times