My boyfriend and I went to dinner at a new restaurant. We struck up a conversation with the manager, who kindly sent us a complimentary appetizer. We continued chatting with him, and he sent us a free dessert. When we got the check, we noticed that we’d been charged for the appetizer but not the dessert. Not wanting to seem ungrateful (but truthfully, a little annoyed at being charged for something we didn’t order), we paid and left a generous tip. Should we have said something? —A.S.
HOW EXACTLY is it “ungrateful” to point out nicely that you’ve been charged for a gift? This dynamic runs rampant in my mailbox: People are so afraid of seeming cheap (or drawing attention to money in commercial transactions) that they overpay and resent it, rather than point out simple errors. Next time, speak right up.
—Adapted from “Social Q’s” in The New York Times Magazine