This spring, I did a remote college internship, which has now ended. An acquaintance, whom I really dislike, has been texting me, asking me to put him in touch with my former boss so he can get an internship too. But I was only an intern! And even if I could recommend someone, it wouldn’t be this guy. How do I say no without letting him know I don’t like him? —Anonymous
EVENTUALLY you may discover that there’s success enough for everyone, even those we dislike. But for now, give your nemesis the company’s general email address. Tell him that as a former intern, you have little influence with your former boss, so you won’t be recommending anyone. He may think you’re a selfish jerk, but there’s a value in learning to say no directly.
—Adapted from “Social Q’s” in The New York Times Magazine