I have never been good at accepting gifts or compliments. I always react with an “I don’t deserve it” feeling and response, then I immediately start planning payback. Do you have any advice for these awkward encounters?

Many of us struggle with issues of worthiness and self-esteem. (“I’m not good enough to warrant this kindness.”) Others have been raised to see the virtue of false modesty. Both result in the frequent rejection of loving gestures that others try to make toward us. And that’s a shame! It robs everyone involved. The next time someone gives you a gift or pays you a compliment, say: “Thank you! That’s so kind.” Then force yourself to stop. Do not spit back a return compliment or make a self-deprecating remark. Just express gratitude and sit with your (likely) discomfort, knowing that you’re probably being too hard on yourself. 
—Adapted from “Social Q’s” in The New York Times Magazine