I have been a shy person my entire life. And though I am comfortable as an introvert, friends and acquaintances will often say things like: “You don’t talk much” or “Why are you so quiet?” Mostly I just shrug off these comments. But I think they perpetuate a negative attitude about introverts. How can I shut these people down without sounding too bitter?  —ANONYMOUS

Quiet people can make conversations awkward for talkative types—and vice versa. In my experience, though, introverts are often better listeners and more observant than the Chatty Cathys of the world. Still, others can misinterpret their silence as judgment or pressure to talk even more. (Ugh!) You have nothing to apologize for. But be careful about being too defensive. If your friends misinterpret your silence, isn’t it better to help them understand it than shut them down? Say: “You’re right. I talk less than many people. I’m an introvert. It’s nothing personal. And when I have something to say, I say it.”  


—Adapted from “Social Q’s” in The New York Times Magazine