I’m 22 and starting a new job following my graduation from college in December. I just signed a lease on a tiny apartment. Previously, I’ve lived in dorms and student housing where people kept their doors open if they wanted to socialize. That doesn’t seem right in an apartment building. So how should I make friends—bake cookies and knock on doors? Maybe invite neighbors on gallery walks? What do you think? —NEW NEIGHBOR
I love your enthusiasm! But here’s the thing: In student housing, all of your neighbors were enrolled in the same university and pursuing degrees there. That’s a lot to have in common—and probably more than you will share with the residents of your new apartment building. Temper your expectations (and yes, keep your door closed). Sure, visit your nearest neighbors and introduce yourself. (Personally, I would not want cookies from a stranger.) If you feel sparks of connection, invite them for coffee. Keep in mind, though, that friendships with neighbors tend to deepen over time. We usually see them in passing. It may be easier to make new friends at work or through shared activities, such as yoga classes or reading groups.
—Adapted from “Social Q’s” in The New York Times Magazine