I’m a college student. Two of my closest friends and I applied for a competitive campus club. They got in; I didn’t. One of them is sensitive about it and doesn’t bring it up; the other talks about the club all the time. She’s not doing it to rub it in my face, but hearing about it makes me feel sad. How can I ask her not to talk about it so much?  —ANONYMOUS

We win many victories in our lives and suffer many defeats. And we must learn how to be gracious about both. Better for you to find another club that you can be enthusiastic about than try to squelch your pal’s (not cruel) excitement. This club is part of her life now, and if you want to stay close with her, you’re going to have to hear about it, though probably less over time. If it’s any consolation, you’ll likely learn much more from this rejection than she will from her easy win.
—Adapted from “Social Q’s” in The New York Times Magazine