A previously close friend and I go to school together. Many of our friend groups overlap. She texted me to say that she misses me and wants to hang out. But I’m not comfortable spending time with her: Our relationship has become filled with conflict. I would rather let it fade and become friendly acquaintances with her. Should I tell her this or avoid the conversation? —Friend
Never ignore a friend who makes herself vulnerable to you or who asks for something directly. Your friend has done both: I miss you, and I want to see you. It would be unkind to leave her hanging. Better to reply truthfully: “We’ve had so much conflict lately. I’d rather take a beat and see you around. OK?” If she presses you to engage further—and some friends will—you can hash it out or let it go, after you have staked out your position clearly.
—Adapted from “Social Q’s” in The New York Times Magazine