I recently saw someone—with whom I’ve built a nice rapport—at a concert. When I approached him, I instinctively went in for a hug. His body stiffened, and he kept his arms at his sides. I thought, Oh, this was a mistake! I backed off, and we exchanged pleasantries. But his response felt excessive and rude. Should I let this go? —Friend
It's easy to feel defensive—or chastened—when we accidentally overstep with friends. But it’s wrong to blame others for our unwanted touching. This person had no obligation to return your hug or to make you feel better about it. So, to answer your question: No, you shouldn’t let this go. Instead, rethink your instinct to hug people who you aren’t sure will welcome it.
–Adapted from “Social Q’s” in The New York Times Magazine