My generous neighbors gave me a ticket to a local theater production, which I happily accepted. The show was terrible, but I was still happy for the evening out. Of course I thanked them for the gift, but must I also lie and say the show was great, or even good? —Anonymous
Certainly not. You can be gracious without actually deceiving your kind neighbors. One true thing you can say is that you were happy for the evening out. And given that you were, you can probably say that you enjoyed yourself. If you’re glad that there are people producing plays in your community, you can say that too. I realize that small lies ease social life, and at times they can’t be avoided without being cruel. Still, they carry a cost. The more of these lies we tell, the harder it becomes to trust the nice things we say when we truly mean them.
—Adapted from “The Ethicist” in The New York Times Magazine